Wednesday, January 9, 2008
My Three Dads
Michelle here. Well, it seems that Coee has received a "bonus" by joining this family, more specifically TWO bonuses. We knew Trey and Dillon would love her. We expected them to accept her into our family and as their little sister. We were sure that they would be proud of her. They have far and quickly exceeded all of those and then some. What we did not know - what we have come to realize - is that Coee has Daddy and then Coee has two "mini-dads" in Trey and Dillon. I'll share a few stories to back this up:
1. While we were in Guangzhou, China - our last hotel, Terrell went out one night for something. I think he went to McDonald's to get dinner for Trey and Dillon. He was gone for maybe a bit less than an hour. When he returned, I had to breathe a sigh of relief. I explained to him that I had spent the whole time he was gone "in trouble" with Trey. Play by play:
Trey comes to me with a chewed-on airline ticket in his hand. It had been laying around the room but I hadn't decided if I was going to keep it or throw it away.
Trey: "Look what she had in her mouth!?" (in a very accusational tone and add a few !!!)
Me: "Yes, Trey. It's just an airline ticket. We don't need it. Soooo?"
Trey: "She doesn't need to have that in her mouth!"
So I finally decided to just throw it away.
Approximately 1 1/2 minutes later:
Trey: "She's hungry. You need to fix her some noodles!"
(So I go to fix her some ramen noodles.)
Approximately 1 1/2 minutes later:
Trey: "She's really hungry! Are her noodles ready yet!?"
Me: "No, Trey. I'm working on it."
Trey: "Look where she is!"
Me: "What do you mean Trey?"
Trey: "She's near the hard floor. You need to watch her!" (My "kitchen" was in the bathroom, connected to the bedroom, and the floor transitioned from carpet in the bedroom to marble in the bathroom. She was sitting at the transition.)
So that is when I realized that it was truly amazing that Trey and Dillon have made it this far with only Terrell and me as parents. How did we do it? But then again, Trey does have 12 hospital bracelets to Dillon's one. Maybe he is holding that against us.
2. Our first week home, I was giving Coee a bath. I think it was her first bath at home, where she could play as much as she wanted without me worrying that she is going to get the toxic water in her system. So I was letting her play and explore...and stand up in the tub with her hands on the side. Trey walks in, looks at the situation, looks at me straight in the eye very seriously and says "I wouldn't let her do that if I were you." Then he walks out of the bathroom. Two minutes later, Dillon comes in to see his little sister in the bathtub (i.e. check to see if Mom is doing anything wrong). She is sitting at the faucet end of the tub, which she just fit under without her head touching the faucet. Dillon looks at the faucet (she is sitting under) for a bit and turns to me and says "Do we really need that.... I mean don't you think she might hit her head on it?"
3. It didn't take Coee long to get a bit "spoiled" and prefer to be held vs. playing on her own, so we are working on reversing that. However, if Trey and Dillon see that she is not happy doing that, they will pick her up, "play" with her (for a very short bit) and then carry her over to me - aiming her up at me to take her. I'll tell them that she needs to learn to play with her toys on the floor with us in the room instead of thinking she needs to be held constantly. They are both consistent in replying "I don't want her to cry. She's not happy."
4. Trey and Dillon do not want Coee to go to daycare. Right now, her grandmothers are happily keeping her but she is set to start daycare next month. Terrell's mom (Momo) kept Coee yesterday. Terrell, Peggy and I were talking about daycare when Trey and Dillon walked in to the room. At first opportunity, Dillon turns to Peggy and asks "Did Coee cry today when you were with her?" She happily answered "No!" and smiled very proudly. He replied "See. She is going to cry when she goes to daycare, but she doesn't cry with you. You don't want her to cry, do you?"
Finally, I'm not sure if this is a "mini-Dad story", but it is pretty funny. As many of you know, Trey and Dillon and Coee sleep in the same room. Trey and Dillon are in Coee's official room and theirs are in the basement. When we moved in the house, they decided that they did not want to be that far away from us just yet so they moved into her room. (Terrell and I moved no less than six beds up and down the stairs during the first three weeks after moving in to the house trying to get the correct combination in "her" room.) Anyways, so bedtime can be a bit of an issue with two eight -year-old's and a newly home now one year old in the same room. We've talked to them about how she might cry a bit when we put her in bed but they just need to be quiet and still and she will go to sleep. They are good with that, but she does usually go to bed enough before them that she is asleep when they go to bed. A few nights ago, she went to bed the same time as them. We have started to put on classical music cd's in their room to help her sleep (Trey and Dillon would literally sleep to, during and back home from shopping trips as well as vacuuming IN their room - not Coee, but we are working on it.) So anyways, they all went to bed at the same time. We turned the classical music on, tucked everybody in and headed out. She began to cry. Apparently Trey had asked Terrell if he could sing to her. Apparently Terrell had said yes. I went back in a few minutes later. The classical music is on. Coee is crying at the top of her lungs. Trey is singing "O' Tannenbaum" to her at the TOP of his lungs. Dillon is in his bed saying "Trey! Shut up! She is not going to go to sleep with you singing to her that loud! Shut up!"
We have always thoroughly enjoyed Trey and Dillon; seeing the world through their eyes, laughing at them, laughing with them, watching them grow. Having Coee in our family has multiplied that many times over. She is such a joy. It is so remarkably special to see Trey and Dillon enjoy her as much as we do. Dillon said it on the day after we got her in China, and he says it -out of the blue - all on his own - almost daily: "I'm glad we have Coee!" Aren't we ALL?!
I apologize for the lengthiness of this post and for the long lapse since my last post. We will do better!! I will be posting on the holidays and Coee's FIRST birthday soon.
Michelle
1. While we were in Guangzhou, China - our last hotel, Terrell went out one night for something. I think he went to McDonald's to get dinner for Trey and Dillon. He was gone for maybe a bit less than an hour. When he returned, I had to breathe a sigh of relief. I explained to him that I had spent the whole time he was gone "in trouble" with Trey. Play by play:
Trey comes to me with a chewed-on airline ticket in his hand. It had been laying around the room but I hadn't decided if I was going to keep it or throw it away.
Trey: "Look what she had in her mouth!?" (in a very accusational tone and add a few !!!)
Me: "Yes, Trey. It's just an airline ticket. We don't need it. Soooo?"
Trey: "She doesn't need to have that in her mouth!"
So I finally decided to just throw it away.
Approximately 1 1/2 minutes later:
Trey: "She's hungry. You need to fix her some noodles!"
(So I go to fix her some ramen noodles.)
Approximately 1 1/2 minutes later:
Trey: "She's really hungry! Are her noodles ready yet!?"
Me: "No, Trey. I'm working on it."
Trey: "Look where she is!"
Me: "What do you mean Trey?"
Trey: "She's near the hard floor. You need to watch her!" (My "kitchen" was in the bathroom, connected to the bedroom, and the floor transitioned from carpet in the bedroom to marble in the bathroom. She was sitting at the transition.)
So that is when I realized that it was truly amazing that Trey and Dillon have made it this far with only Terrell and me as parents. How did we do it? But then again, Trey does have 12 hospital bracelets to Dillon's one. Maybe he is holding that against us.
2. Our first week home, I was giving Coee a bath. I think it was her first bath at home, where she could play as much as she wanted without me worrying that she is going to get the toxic water in her system. So I was letting her play and explore...and stand up in the tub with her hands on the side. Trey walks in, looks at the situation, looks at me straight in the eye very seriously and says "I wouldn't let her do that if I were you." Then he walks out of the bathroom. Two minutes later, Dillon comes in to see his little sister in the bathtub (i.e. check to see if Mom is doing anything wrong). She is sitting at the faucet end of the tub, which she just fit under without her head touching the faucet. Dillon looks at the faucet (she is sitting under) for a bit and turns to me and says "Do we really need that.... I mean don't you think she might hit her head on it?"
3. It didn't take Coee long to get a bit "spoiled" and prefer to be held vs. playing on her own, so we are working on reversing that. However, if Trey and Dillon see that she is not happy doing that, they will pick her up, "play" with her (for a very short bit) and then carry her over to me - aiming her up at me to take her. I'll tell them that she needs to learn to play with her toys on the floor with us in the room instead of thinking she needs to be held constantly. They are both consistent in replying "I don't want her to cry. She's not happy."
4. Trey and Dillon do not want Coee to go to daycare. Right now, her grandmothers are happily keeping her but she is set to start daycare next month. Terrell's mom (Momo) kept Coee yesterday. Terrell, Peggy and I were talking about daycare when Trey and Dillon walked in to the room. At first opportunity, Dillon turns to Peggy and asks "Did Coee cry today when you were with her?" She happily answered "No!" and smiled very proudly. He replied "See. She is going to cry when she goes to daycare, but she doesn't cry with you. You don't want her to cry, do you?"
Finally, I'm not sure if this is a "mini-Dad story", but it is pretty funny. As many of you know, Trey and Dillon and Coee sleep in the same room. Trey and Dillon are in Coee's official room and theirs are in the basement. When we moved in the house, they decided that they did not want to be that far away from us just yet so they moved into her room. (Terrell and I moved no less than six beds up and down the stairs during the first three weeks after moving in to the house trying to get the correct combination in "her" room.) Anyways, so bedtime can be a bit of an issue with two eight -year-old's and a newly home now one year old in the same room. We've talked to them about how she might cry a bit when we put her in bed but they just need to be quiet and still and she will go to sleep. They are good with that, but she does usually go to bed enough before them that she is asleep when they go to bed. A few nights ago, she went to bed the same time as them. We have started to put on classical music cd's in their room to help her sleep (Trey and Dillon would literally sleep to, during and back home from shopping trips as well as vacuuming IN their room - not Coee, but we are working on it.) So anyways, they all went to bed at the same time. We turned the classical music on, tucked everybody in and headed out. She began to cry. Apparently Trey had asked Terrell if he could sing to her. Apparently Terrell had said yes. I went back in a few minutes later. The classical music is on. Coee is crying at the top of her lungs. Trey is singing "O' Tannenbaum" to her at the TOP of his lungs. Dillon is in his bed saying "Trey! Shut up! She is not going to go to sleep with you singing to her that loud! Shut up!"
We have always thoroughly enjoyed Trey and Dillon; seeing the world through their eyes, laughing at them, laughing with them, watching them grow. Having Coee in our family has multiplied that many times over. She is such a joy. It is so remarkably special to see Trey and Dillon enjoy her as much as we do. Dillon said it on the day after we got her in China, and he says it -out of the blue - all on his own - almost daily: "I'm glad we have Coee!" Aren't we ALL?!
I apologize for the lengthiness of this post and for the long lapse since my last post. We will do better!! I will be posting on the holidays and Coee's FIRST birthday soon.
Michelle
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
What goes around.........., thank you's, and miscellaneous ramblings
Well, we have certainly been lax in putting up new posts!
We have been getting settled and trying to get back into the swing of things: school for our boys, a birthday party for Coee (the weekend before her official birthday of New Years Eve), work, and all the other everyday tasks and duties we have.
I am going to let Michelle post pictures and our "goings on" since our last post. She will do that in the next day or so, with pictures!
This post is about something a little different.
As many of you know and some may not, I (Terrell) was also adopted. I have always known this and used to tell my Mom to tell me the story of "me"! I have also always been very grateful to the people who gave me the gift of my life:
1. My birth Mom and Dad, for having the compassion for a little baby to give him to a family who could raise him better than they were able.
2. My "real" parents who have given me all the love, support, compassion, and "life" that anyone could give their child.
3. My sister, who for a long time I didn't know how she could love me as much as she said she has, but through watching my boys with Coee, I now understand.
There was never a "getting to know you" phase for Trey and Dillon with Coee. As soon as they handed her to us, she was completely and forever, their sister. They wake each day wanting to take care of her and love on her.
I have never been so proud of my boys as how they treat Coee.
4. My wife, who puts up with all my crap and loves me anyway. I could never pick a better partner/friend/lover to go through this life with. She loves me when she doesn't like me much and loves me when I do things that make her shake her head wondering what she did to deserve this/me!
5. All the people in our extended family, including our Church and our friends, some close, some far away. We felt your support the whole time we were in China and you have made our return home a blessing for our family.
Two weeks ago, ok, maybe three.........Todd Brady, the pastor at FBC (First Baptist Church) in Paducah, talked about how an adopted child is like each of us to God. The baby does nothing to deserve the love that is placed upon it and just has to accept that love from the parents. I thought alot about that in the days since then and believe that is probably the best way to describe how an adoption works. But like God, the birth parents and adopted parents share a love for an innocent that is beyond my ability to put into words. They share equally in making and shaping the life of the child. If my birth parents hadn't had the compassion they did, I would not have had the incredible family I have now. And I just hope that I am able to give Coee the love and example of how to live her life with goodness that my parents and sister have given me.
As I write this, it sounds like I am making out this journey we are on to be special.......and while it is to us, it is also one that is shared by many people past and present. We are among so many: in our family, at our Church, our friends, our parent's friends, and the people that we traveled to China with to get children of their own, that have made this same journey and share this same love for their child, that we aren't special, just blessed.
Thank you to everyone who has supported us thru this journey to Coee. We have felt your hands lifting us through this when we were tired and been up for 36 hours.......... when Trey and Dillon had been together for 15 day straight, and couldn't think of a single thing else to do but aggravate each other(!)..............and when we had to deal with immigration and naturalization after 18 hours of flights and airports.................................
And when we received this precious little baby who was given to us by a mother of great courage and faith, hoping and trusting that her little child would be taken care of and loved and in a better place than she could give. As I was.
Thank you all, especially you, Mom, Dad, Tonya, Michelle, Trey and Dillon.
We have been getting settled and trying to get back into the swing of things: school for our boys, a birthday party for Coee (the weekend before her official birthday of New Years Eve), work, and all the other everyday tasks and duties we have.
I am going to let Michelle post pictures and our "goings on" since our last post. She will do that in the next day or so, with pictures!
This post is about something a little different.
As many of you know and some may not, I (Terrell) was also adopted. I have always known this and used to tell my Mom to tell me the story of "me"! I have also always been very grateful to the people who gave me the gift of my life:
1. My birth Mom and Dad, for having the compassion for a little baby to give him to a family who could raise him better than they were able.
2. My "real" parents who have given me all the love, support, compassion, and "life" that anyone could give their child.
3. My sister, who for a long time I didn't know how she could love me as much as she said she has, but through watching my boys with Coee, I now understand.
There was never a "getting to know you" phase for Trey and Dillon with Coee. As soon as they handed her to us, she was completely and forever, their sister. They wake each day wanting to take care of her and love on her.
I have never been so proud of my boys as how they treat Coee.
4. My wife, who puts up with all my crap and loves me anyway. I could never pick a better partner/friend/lover to go through this life with. She loves me when she doesn't like me much and loves me when I do things that make her shake her head wondering what she did to deserve this/me!
5. All the people in our extended family, including our Church and our friends, some close, some far away. We felt your support the whole time we were in China and you have made our return home a blessing for our family.
Two weeks ago, ok, maybe three.........Todd Brady, the pastor at FBC (First Baptist Church) in Paducah, talked about how an adopted child is like each of us to God. The baby does nothing to deserve the love that is placed upon it and just has to accept that love from the parents. I thought alot about that in the days since then and believe that is probably the best way to describe how an adoption works. But like God, the birth parents and adopted parents share a love for an innocent that is beyond my ability to put into words. They share equally in making and shaping the life of the child. If my birth parents hadn't had the compassion they did, I would not have had the incredible family I have now. And I just hope that I am able to give Coee the love and example of how to live her life with goodness that my parents and sister have given me.
As I write this, it sounds like I am making out this journey we are on to be special.......and while it is to us, it is also one that is shared by many people past and present. We are among so many: in our family, at our Church, our friends, our parent's friends, and the people that we traveled to China with to get children of their own, that have made this same journey and share this same love for their child, that we aren't special, just blessed.
Thank you to everyone who has supported us thru this journey to Coee. We have felt your hands lifting us through this when we were tired and been up for 36 hours.......... when Trey and Dillon had been together for 15 day straight, and couldn't think of a single thing else to do but aggravate each other(!)..............and when we had to deal with immigration and naturalization after 18 hours of flights and airports.................................
And when we received this precious little baby who was given to us by a mother of great courage and faith, hoping and trusting that her little child would be taken care of and loved and in a better place than she could give. As I was.
Thank you all, especially you, Mom, Dad, Tonya, Michelle, Trey and Dillon.
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